before graduation and before school ends i’d like to leave on good terms with everyone. most importantly those two people. one who i have known since freshie year bug no longer talk to. the other is the person who has hurt me a great deal. i’d LOVE to have the guts and the courage to do this, but idk if i can.

these past few days have been like hell. people tried their hardest to cheer me up. but, all it took was one friend to listen and be there for me. no judging and no letting their feelings influence what they tell me. so for that i want to give a shout out to this amazing friend! THANK YOU SO MUCH JEN! dont know what i’d do without you <3

Why Am I mad, I don’t get it,
It seems like every time you give me signs,
And I miss it!
I did it again,
I admit it,
I left you standing there,
And now I regret it,
Seems like every time,
I get the chance,
I lose my cool, and I blow it,
And I get all tongue tied,
Lost in your eyes,
I’m a fool, and I know it!

[Chorus:]
I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve told you,
Told you just how I feel,
And next time I won’t stop,
I’ll listen to my heart,
Cause what I feel is real!
I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve told you how I feel,
I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve showed you just how I feel

Now why didn’t I
Give you my two cents,
A million reasons why I should have,
And it makes no sense,
So here I am,
By myself again,
Stopping for green lights, and I know,
I wanna be more than friends,
How come every time I get the chance
I lose my cool and I blow it,
And I get all tongue tied,
Lost in your eyes,
I’m a fool and I know it!

[Chorus:]
Hey,
I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve told you,
Told you just how I feel,
And next time I won’t stop,
I’ll listen to my heart,
Cause what I feel is real!
I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve told you how I feel,
I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve showed you just how I feel!

So I turned the car around,
And you were right where I left you,
And your smile said you were feeling it too,
And the moon shined bright,
Cause when your lips met mine,
And yeah I finally got it right,
I’ll be leaving with you tonight,
And I won’t have to say,

[Chorus:]
I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve told you,
Told you just how I feel,
And next time I won’t stop,
I’ll listen to my heart,
Cause what I feel is real!
I should’ve kissed you, Girl
I should’ve told you how I feel,
I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve showed you just how I feel

Girl I should’ve kissed you,
I should’ve told you told you just how I feel,
And this time I won’t stop,
Until I have your heart,
Cause what I’m feeling is real

how i feel right at this moment!! :(

You know….at first I was sorry. Then I was angry. Then I kept reminiscing. But now Im thankful. I didnt realize how strong my friendship with Angela was and could be. I was too focused and didnt care bout anything but our friendship. Now that we have grown apart I had grown closer to Angela….that I thank you for. If it werent for you I wouldnt be this close to her. I wouldnt have the friend that:
-is worth fighting for
-is always there
-may not know everything bout me but still sticks with me
-i can be completely myself with
-i know ill be friends with for a very long time

So you know what? Thank you…for ending our friendship because it opened a whole new one thats closer and better.

…….you guys are ALWAYS bad mouthing him. whether it be judging him or making fun of him. you guys asked me if i ever thought i should get to know him or ask why he did what he chose to do. until now i admit i havent really thought about it. i NEVER needed to know any of that stuff. all i NEEDED to know was that he was my dad. after all the questioning you guys did i realized something. yea maybe what he did was wrong nd yea maybe theres not one day that goes by that you guys don’t blame him.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? 

hes still my dad. hes still part of the reason why im even here. maybe i dont have a close father-daughter relationship with him. yea maybe i do go along with what you guys say….but thats just on the outside. on the inside its difference. but the fact is….hes still my dad. so next time you guys start bad mouthing him again THINK FIRST! 

caz it makes it seem like you guys don’t like me being here……that im even alive. that you’d rather me not even be alive.